DaeHo

1. Dae Ho Lee

2. //Topic : 3 - religion is an important part of the lives of the people of Waknuk, but it is abused and manipulated in very unreligious ways.//

Thesis - In the novel //The Chrysalids//, people of Waknuk misunderstood the true moral of Christianity and abused their own religion in a primitive, narrow minded and fearful society. Good idea, but wording can be improved

Intro - Who are Christians and what is their moral? They are neighbours of everyone and they are to love everyone. On the other hand, Christians in the novel //The Chrysalids// are the opposite. Since the tribulation, people of Waknuk discriminated mutants to soothe God's anger. They discriminated people and objects if their physical status did not match with the true image described in Nicholson's Repentances. The Repentances argues that the image they provided is the true image. However, no one knows whether those images described in the //Repentances// are the true image or not. In the novel //The Chrysalids//, people of Waknuk misunderstood the true moral of Christianity, and abused their religion to extreme in a primitive, narrow minded and fearful society. ( I said that your thesis needed rewording, yet you did not edit it, why? I still do not know what you will be arguing.)

main ideas : 2) People of Waknuk discriminates deviations (look over first half, first sentence) not "purification" that is described in the Bible. Vegetation and animals classified as deviations are burned, and every (bad wording, ref﻿rase) human deviations were sent to the Fringes. For instance, Old Jacob said "Repentances says to keep pure the stock of the Lord by fire, but that's not good enough," he mean that deviations would be burned. In addtion to non-humans, Old Jacob also said "They mustn't be cleansed, they must be allowed to live, or die naturally. They must be outlawed and driven into the Fringes," 'they' are the mutants, and this is how deviations are treated based on the Repentances. It may appear that this is what Chrisitianity's moral is about, but truthfully, it is the Repentance's way of practices to soothe the (consider refrasing) God's anger, so tribulation doesn't come again. Preachers persuaded people of Waknuk that they are keeping the stock pure, not discriminating nor a murder. However, people of Waknuk clearly abused religion to discriminate deviations and to try to keep the lost track of the Old People. (Last sentence is unclear, try re wording) it is kind of hard to understand what you are arguing.

3) Christianity's true moral is love, but preachers' moral is to hate. Christians should not accuse nor blame other people for what they did not do. In the society of Waknuk, deviations are blamed for making the God angry, and the tribulation that happened to the Old People. Although this will never be true, there is no way to proove that deviations did not make the God angry but it is actually the Old People that killed themselves, with their primitive science they have at the time. The wrong moral preachers tell from the //Repentances// made this situation worse. Their moral of keeping the stock pure of the Lord, by fire, only created contrast and hate, between Fringes people and the people of Waknuk. People of Waknuk blamed Fringes people for many things. For example, Fringes people are blamed for the high deviation rate, bad weather, and anything else that people of Waknuk cannot explain scientifically, but only with rumors and lies. Christians should love everyone, but majority of Christians in Waknuk does not love their neighbours nor their family; they misunderstood the true moral of Christianity.

1) Religion created the community Waknuk; a primitive, narrow minded and God-fearing society.

It is not the ruins of the Old People; it is not any kind of logics; it was religion which built the society, Waknuk. They do not have developed academics to explain situations around them, for example, the Black Coasts. The Black Coasts are the remains from the tribulation, which is actually a nuclear war, around the time period of 1950s. People of Waknuk cannot fully explain evidently what tribulation is, and what made the Black Coasts; they only can assume relating to Christianity and God. The community of Waknuk is very religious society, infact, religion is a big part of their daily lives. This is not a problem, but since they started fearing God and burning deviations, and blinding their minds in a primitive society with lies and rumors, it became a big problem. The //Bible// suggests "As Chritians, we are not perfect. We still make mistakes. When we do, we can confess our sins to Jesus and He will forgive us." (1 John 1:8-10) this is what all Christians should do; confessing their sins to Jesus. However, people of Waknuk, as Chrstians they themselves are taking actions instead of Jesus, to confess their sins. They discriminate mutants, consistently and sometimes behind the scenes. This is something //Nicholson's Repentances// may have suggested, but something //Bible// will not suggest. Society of Waknuk is very primitive in terms of their education, narrow minded in terms of the cons of their actions they will get, and God-fearing community in terms of their religious discriminations against false Satan, the mutants.

5. First Draft of your Essay

Who are Christians and what is their moral? They are neighbours of everyone and they are to love everyone. On the other hand, Christians in the novel //The Chrysalids// are the opposite. Since the tribulation, people of Waknuk discriminated mutants to soothe God's anger. They discriminated people and objects if their physical status did not match with the true image described in //Nicholson's Repentances//. The //Repentances// argues that the image they provided is the true image. However, no one knows whether those images described in the //Repentances// are the true image or not. In the novel //The Chrysalids//, people of Waknuk misunderstood the true moral of Christianity, and abused their religion to extreme in a primitive, narrow minded and God-fearing society.

It is not the ruins of the Old People; it is not any kind of logic; it was religion which built the society, Waknuk. They do not have developed academics to explain situations around them, for example, the Black Coasts. The Black Coasts are the remains from the tribulation, which is actually a nuclear war, around the time period of 1950s. People of Waknuk cannot fully explain evidently what tribulation is, and what made the Black Coasts; they only can assume relating to Christianity and God. The community of Waknuk is very religious society, infact, religion is a big part of their daily lives. This is not a problem, but since they started fearing God, burning deviations, and blinding their minds in a primitive society with lies and rumors, it became a big problem. The //Bible// suggests "As Chritians, we are not perfect. We still make mistakes. When we do, we can confess our sins to Jesus and He will forgive us." (1 John 1:8-10) this is what all Christians should do, confessing their sins. Revise Sentence However, people of Waknuk, as Chrstians they themselves are taking actions instead of confessing their sins to Jesus. They discriminate mutants, consistently and sometimes behind the scenes. This is something //Nicholson's Repentances// may have suggested, but something //Bible// will not suggest. The society of Waknuk is very primitive in terms of their education, narrow minded in terms of the cons of their actions they will get, and God-fearing community in terms of their religious discriminations against false Satan, the mutants.

People of Waknuk discriminates deviations not "loving others" (John 15:12) that is described in the //Bible//. Dont understand Vegetation and animals classified as deviations are burned, and human mutants were sent to the Fringes; the badlands where nobody wants to live. Old Jacob once said, "//Repentances// says to keep pure the stock of the Lord by fire, but that's not good enough for the bloody Government now," (pg 89) he mean s blasphemies would be burned but will not satisfy the church priests. Old jacob also said "there were new laws about near-human deviations. They mustn't be cleansed, they must be allowed to live, or die naturally. They must be outlawed and driven into the Fringes, or, if they are infants, simply exposed there to take their chance -- and //that// is supposed to be more merciful." (pg 88~89) this quotation describes the new law made for human blasphemies; they would be sent to the badlands, and the Government argues that this is more merciful than just burning them. This is how deviations are treated based on the //Repentances//. Chrisitianity's moral may appear to people of Waknuk that this is what it is, but truthfully, it is the //Repentance//s' way of practices to soothe God's anger; so tribulation does not happen again. Government persuaded people of Waknuk that they are keeping the stock pure, not a murder. However, people of Waknuk clearly abused religion to discriminate deviations, and to try to keep the lost track of the Old People.

Should Christians blame or accuse other people for what they did not do? In the society of Waknuk, deviations are blamed for making the God angry, and the tribulation that happened to the Old People. Although this is not true, there is no way to explain that deviations did not make the God angry but it is actually the Old People that killed themselves, with the primitive science they have at the time. The wrong moral preachers tell from the //Repentances// made this situation worse. Their moral of keeping pure stock of the Lord, by fire, only created contrast and hate, between Fringes people and the people of Waknuk. People of Waknuk blamed Fringes people for many things. For example, Fringes people are blamed for the high deviation rate, bad weather, and anything else that people of Waknuk cannot explain scientifically, but only with rumors and lies. Christians should love everyone, but majority of Christians in Waknuk do not love their neighbours nor their family; they misunderstood the true moral of Christianity.

Are people of Waknuk guilty? They cannot really be considered guilty. Although they are not guilty, people of Waknuk misunderstood and abused Christianity in such extreme manner that it cannot be considered as Christianity. Religion created the society Waknuk, and as long as Black Coasts and other disasters cannot be explained, religion will remain to be Waknuk's post stone. People of Waknuk abused religion to discriminate deviations and to follow what the Old People were doing. Christians in Waknuk should love everyone, but //Repentances// is keeping people away from each other. The novel //The Chrysalids// describes religion like clothings to the people of Waknuk, they are needed only certian times, and they do not have to be fancy and expensive, but casual is the best.

6. Peer Comments - Group Members

Anika Julian Thalia

Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 3 - Concl﻿uding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

7. Good Copy in MLA format