Tom+Zhao

1.Tom, Zhao 2. An Approved Topic -Fear turns societics into a parnoid state. 3. Brainstorming Worksheet 4. Essay Outline 5. First Draft of your Essay 6. Peer Comments - Group Members Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? The introduction paragraph does grab my attention because it has a good structure to it. Yes, it does anticipate an insightful thesis. 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay It is pretty strong because it starts off broad and it gets more specific near the end which leads into the whole essay.

Our technology is advancing very fast, from horses pulling wagons to fusil(fossil) (Fusil?? correct spelling!) fuel cars. __ We don’t even have to step outside to purchase the things that we need. Planes flying across the seas, cordless phones, internet and many more.(while we used to dream about flying across seas, then it came the airplanes, we have cordless phones, internet and many more) __ (sentences don't flow, connect first sentence to second) Even through(with) (with*, change through to with) all the advanced things we have, we still encounter many problems, in the novel The Chrysalids, fear is one of the problems that technology can’t solve. And it’s turning the two villages, Waknuk and the (Fringes, capitalize F) fringes(Fringes) in to(into) (into* is one word) a paranoid state. Good thesis :]

please retype your NEW intro below Our technilgy us advancing very fast, from from horses pulling wagons to fossil fuel cars. There is no need to step outside to purchase the things that we need. There are planes flying across the seas, wireless telephones, internet and many more. With all the advanced things that we own, we still encounter many problems that can't be sovled with this. In the novel The Chrysalids, fear is one of the the problems that technology can't solve, and it's turning the two villages; Waknuk and the Fringes in to a parnoid state.

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Fear in Waknuk is very easy to see, from the book, it states that Aunt Harriet has given birth to a child with a mole on their face, (pg ) and the village would not accepts the child as a “norm”, this shows that the people in Waknuk is very sensitive to any “different” parts of the body as the definition of man. (pg ) they think that they are the devil’s minions trying to get into their sociality, this turns them into a very paranoid states, being extra careful around little details, such as a horse being bigger than the normal one’s that they used to seen for a long time, how do they know that the slightly bigger horse is the bad one? As the book recall, it didn’t not state a definition of horses, so there is no way that they would tell. Another example would be the cat siltation, where David’s dad saw them housing a tailless cat, he killed the cat and made a big deal out of it, then later one, he found out that the cat’s species don’t have tails at all. The last example is the Sophie one. The problem with her it’s that she has an extra toe on each of her feet, now, according to Waknuk that is agonist the law called definition of man. So she had to go the fringes, but her parents hid her extra toes well so she was not found out, but the day came as Sophie was found out and had to leave the village, on her way to escape with her parents, they came across a guard to check the norm paper, which she don’t have. So she was throw out to the fringes, but before they did that to Sophie, the made so that Sophie couldn’t give birth so she could not spread her kind. This proves that Waknuk is being paranoid by fear, how can an extra toe be any harm, no tails? Does that matter? Who doesn’t have a mole on their face?

The fear in the fringes is started in Waknuk, when the new born discover that they are different, they are always trying to hide there differences, but once there are found, they will be send (sent) to the fringes. Fringes is a place in the badlands, they have no food, so all they can do is to raid the village of Waknuk. when they do the (their) raids, they are (im going to assume this is your conclusion) ( ﻿(lol, this is my second par ....)

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? Stephen, conclusion parand, body christina. Intro 7. Good Copy in MLA format   Zhao 1 Tom Zhao Mr. Ahumada ENG 1D1 April 13th, 2011 ** Fear is one of the dominant themes of The Chrysalids ** Our technology is advancing very fast, from horses pulling wagons to fossil fuel cars. There is no need to step outside to purchase the things that we need. There are planes flying across the seas, wireless telephones, internet and many more. With all the advanced things that we own, we still encounter many problems that can't be solved with this. In the novel The Chrysalids, fear is one of the problems that technology can't solve, and it's turning the two villages; Waknuk and the Fringes in to a paranoid state. Fear in Waknuk is very easy to see, from the book, it states that Aunt Harriet has given birth to a child with a mole on their face, quote by Aunt Harriet: ‘I shall pry God to send charity into this hideous world, and sympathy for the weak, and love for the unhappy and unfortunate. I shall ask him if it is indeed His will that a child should suffer and its soul should be damned for the little blemish for the body...’ (pg 69) and the village would not accepts the child as a “norm”, this shows that the people in Waknuk is very sensitive to any “different” parts of the body as the definition of man. Quote by Sophie’s mother: “And god created man in His own image. And God decreed that man should have one body, one head, two arms and two legs: that each arm should be jointed in two places and end in one hand: that each hand should have four fingers and one thumb: that each finger should bear a flat finger-nail…”(pg 10) they think that they are the devil’s minions trying to get into their sociality, this turns them into a very paranoid states, being extra careful around little details, such as a horse being bigger than the normal one’s that they used to seen for a long time, how do they know that the slightly bigger horse is the bad one? As the book recall, it did not state a definition of horses, so there is no way that they would tell. Another example would be the cat siltation, where David’s dad saw them housing a tailless cat, he killed the cat and made a big deal out of it, then later one, he found out that the cat’s species don’t have tails at all. The last example is the Sophie one. The problem with her it’s that she has an extra toe on each of her feet, now, according to Waknuk that is agonist the law called definition of man. So she had to go the fringes, but her parents hid her extra toes well so she was not found out, but the day came as Sophie was found out and had to leave the village, on her way to escape with her parents, they came across a guard to check the norm paper, which she don’t have. So she was throw out to the fringes, but before they did that to Sophie, the made so that Sophie couldn’t give birth so she could not spread her kind. This proves that Waknuk is being Zhao 2 paranoid by fear, how can an extra toe be any harm, no tails? Does that matter? Who doesn’t have a mole on their face? The fear in the fringes is started in Waknuk, when the new born discover that they are different, they are always trying to hide their differences. There is a quote in the book that the group said: “Don’t do anything unusual or you may cause them to pounce, on suspicion” that proves that the deviations in Waknuk are living in fear. In Waknuk, is your have been confirmed to be a deviation, you are to be sent in to the Fringes. Fringes are a place that’s in the badlands, so they can’t grow any food. Since Waknuk has more fighting power over the Fringes people has, Waknuk has forced the Fringes people to lay low. But sometimes the fringes people has to come out and find food, with their anger with the village of Waknuk, they tend always to raid them. Through all this horrible life that they lived, Fringes people has learned that through annexation, they have become more cautious then they used to be. The outcome of fear has lead to many devastating results. It’s because of fear; both Waknuk and the Fringes have started to hate each other. In Waknuk, they trusted the book Nicole’s repentance, the devil is the father of deviation. But in the fringes, they believe that ever one is the same. It’s because of this constant fear that both villages have, they are always fighting with each other, trying to take each other one out. This fear is driving these two societies apart, they are slowly falling apart, and this will not stop until the villages stop living in this lie of the fear that is around them. <span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In conclusion, both Waknuk and Fringes are in a living hell because of fear. They always are trying to find a way to make fun or joke about the other villages believes. The author of the book, The Chrysalids, John Whyndham has been telling us that fear is not so different from the society that we live in now, in the book, people have been judged by their difference to the definition of man, but now, people have been judged by their skin colour, looks, and gender and much more than in the book. In the end, no one is benefited from fear, maybe for a short time, but not forever, everyone has to overcome it in the end.