Katrina+Cirone

2. An Approved Topic -Discuss the significance of the title the Chrysalids.
 * Katrina Cirone **

4. Essay Outline //**__INTRO:__**// The stages of a butterfly represent the three main civilizations in the novel. Egg, Larva, Chrysalids and Butterfly. Explain the stages of butterfly. The butterfly is the result of a long and difficult journey very unlike the ones of most other creatures on Earth. The egg stage consists of the larva encased in an egg a millimeter in diameter and it hatching within a week to two years. Once hatched as a caterpillarit continues to eat untill it is large enough to create a chrysalis. During this stage the caterpillar encases itself in a cocoon constructed out of silk. While in the chrysalis the caterpillar goes through many changes and emerges fully formed as a butterfly.


 * //__BODY#1:__//** How the fringes relate to the larva stage. The caterpillar requires food before it can progress. Needs certain things. The fringes are not provided with the required tools for any development to occur.


 * //__BODY#2:__//** How Waknuk relates to the chrysalids stage. Most important stage. Turns the caterpillar into a butterfly. Change must order for this transformation to occur. Buterfly will not always turn out the same. They will all be different and some may not turn out right. Stoping evolution. Hit a dead end.


 * //__BODY#3:__//** Sealand represents the butterfly stage. They have progressed since evolution. They embraced change and as a result have become a developed civilization.

5. First Draft of your Essay

read "quoting tips": there are challenges in this intro that are not permitted in formal writing avoid flowery language: e.g lovely, just say butterfly 1st half of intro is bland consider revising. Also, you repeat all that information in your body pars.
 * //__INTRO:__//** The butterfly is the result of a long and difficult journey in comparison to that of most other creatures. Reword last part to something more clear.... in comparison to the journeys of most other Earthly creatures﻿ . The butterfly must go through a truly remarkable and timely process before arriving at its final form. This insect progresses through four stages before reaching its full potential as a butterfly. These stages are the egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, and butterfly. Each stage is responsible for transforming a different aspect of the butterfly. Intro up to this point can be a bit too boring to read. Similarly in the novel The Chrysalids, the four civilizations have all progressed differently and are in distinct stages of development. They have all undergone various changes that have shaped their societies and categorized them into four separate stages similar to those of a butterfly. The title of the novel refers to the relationship/similarities between the different civilizations and the life cycle of a butterfly.

The butterfly is the result of a long and difficult journey in comparison to that of most other creatures. The butterfly must go through a truly remarkable and timely process before arriving at its final form. This insect progresses through four stages before reaching its full potential as a butterfly (may want to switch butterfly potential part and stages. E.g. Before reaching its full potential as a butterfly, the insect must first progress through four stages). These stages are the egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, and butterfly. Each stage is responsible for transforming a different aspect of the butterfly. Similarly in the novel The Chrysalids, the four civilizations have all progressed differently and are in distinct stages of development. They have all undergone various changes that have shaped their societies and categorized them into four separate stages equivalent to those of a butterfly. The title of the novel refers to the relationship/ similarities between the different civilizations and the life cycle of a butterfly. yay! good intro! not much to change here.

__//**THE FRINGES:**//__ The Fringes civilization is equivalent to the caterpillar stage in the life cycle of the butterfly. This is the stage that occurs after the caterpillar hatches. I personally find the previous sentence choppy. Try using another word than stage in 'Egg Stage' In this stage Again, the word Stage is used. You could use phase, step or even point the caterpillar continuously eats until it is ready to create its own chrysalis. This stage always varies in length since it depends on the amount of food available to the caterpillar and its location. If the caterpillar has an insufficient amount of food or hatches in a bad location it will not be able to progress to the next stage of its development until the problem is resloved. The people in the Fringes are very eager for change to occur yet they do not have the money, food,location or the necessary resources for this change to take place. Similar to the caterpillar, they will not be able to move on without these necessities. In the novel, one of the citizens of the Fringes states "God sent along tribulation to bust it up and remind 'em that life is change." (153). The quote suggests that the people of the Fringes think change should occur and that it is the will of God. Although this is not the true cause of tribulation, this view will help to keep them on track in order to achieve an excellent Successful, Equality, Economic Growth, Loving? society. Once the negative influence of Waknuk is gone, they will be able to move on from the caterpillar stage. What is significant of the caterpillar stage? You could answer that question and use it as a closing statement.

clarity is great, but you need to review your comma usage use present tense closing sentence needs strengthening

The Fringes civilization is equivalent to the caterpillar stage in the life cycle of the butterfly. This is the stage that occurs after the caterpillar hatches. In this stage the caterpillar continuously eats until it is ready to create its own chrysalis. This stage always varies in length since it depends on the amount of food available to the caterpillar and its location. If the caterpillar has an insufficient amount of food or hatches in a bad location it will not be able to progress to the next stage of its development until the problem is resloved or food is found. The people in the Fringes are very eager for change to occur yet they do not have the money, food,location or the necessary resources for this change to take place. Similar to the caterpillar, they will not be able to move on and progress as a society without these necessities. In the novel, one of the citizens of the Fringes states "God sent along tribulation to bust it up and remind 'em that life is change." (153). This quote suggests that the people of the Fringes think change should occur and that it is the will of God. Although this is not the true cause of tribulation, this view will help to keep them on track in order to achieve a successful society since they are willing for change to occur. Once the negative influence of Waknuk is removed, they will be able to move on from the caterpillar stage. This very important stage prepares them for the transformations that will occur in the chrysalis stage.

not quite sure how this par. relates to your thesis. Your intro speaks of a cocoon at this stage, but you do not discuss it here. Also, if you wish to speak of change and resistance to change, you need to emphasize the change aspect of this stage in this par. What is your thesis? I don't know what your thesis is so I can't relate or anyalze it properly.
 * //__WAKNUK:__//** The Society of Waknuk represents the chrysalis stage. This vital stage is responsible for transforming the caterpillar into a butterfly, allowing it to reach its full potential. The caterpillar must go through this stage and experience the necessary changes (changes necessary) to become a butterfly. These changes occur while the caterpillar is encased in the chrysalis. Like the caterpillar, the citizens of Waknuk are encased in their own form of a chrysalis. The difference is that the people of Waknuk have been in their chrysalis far too long. The title __The Chrysalids__ is used to convey the idea of the importance of change in order for improvement and progress to occur in a society. The citizens of Waknuk have become comfortable in this stage and are trying to relive their past. This shows that they are scared of what change may bring to their society. They are resisting change and as a result their society has not undergone any development since its creation. The novel proves this when the Sealand Lady says "Evolution cannot be denied and the chrysalids cannot be stopped in its development to the next stage." This indicates that despite the continuous efforts of the people of Waknuk, they cannot prevent change from occuring in their society. The citizens of Waknuk have reached a dead end and their refusal to accept change and denial of (deny) evolution is hindering them from progressing to their final stage. If the citizens of Waknuk do not learn to accept change they will forever be trapped in the chrysalis stage.

The Society of Waknuk represents the chrysalis stage. This vital stage is responsible for transforming the caterpillar into a butterfly, allowing it to achieve its full potential. The caterpillar must go through this stage and experience the necessary changes to become a butterfly. These changes occur while the caterpillar is encased in the chrysalis. Like the caterpillar, the citizens of Waknuk are encased in their own form of a chrysalis. The difference is that the people of Waknuk have been in their chrysalis far too long. The title //The Chrysalids// is used to convey the idea of the importance of change in order for improvement and progress to occur in a society. The citizens of Waknuk have become comfortable in this stage and are trying to relive their past. This shows that they are scared of what change may bring to their society. They are resisting change and as a result their society has not undergone any development since its creation. The novel proves this when the Sealand Lady says "Evolution cannot be denied and the chrysalids cannot be stopped in its development to the next stage." This indicates that despite the continuous efforts of the people of Waknuk, they cannot prevent change from occuring in their society. The citizens of Waknuk have reached a dead end and their refusal to accept change and denial of evolution is hindering them from progressing to their final stage of development. If the citizens of Waknuk do not learn to accept change they will forever be trapped in the chrysalis stage.


 * //__SEALAND:__//** There is a direct relation between Sealand and the butterfly in its final stage of evolution. In this stage the butterfly breaks through its protective encasement and fulfills its destiny, thus making its journey worthwhile. The people of Sealand have progressed after tribulation as a result of their acceptance of change. In the novel, the Sealand Lady states "The essential quality of life is living; the essential quality of living is change; change is evolution; and we are part of it." (196). This quotation supports the idea that change is inevitable and important for our (take out "our" tell me why it's superflous) human existence. The people of Sealand worked together to build a new society after tribulation. This allowed their society to continue to evolve and devise new technologies such as weapons, automobiles and various aircrafts. Just like the butterfly, Sealand has reached the endpoint of its journey of development.

good par. minor challenges, your essay is coming along nicely Mr. A already reviewed your work. Overall, I like the structure of your paragraphs. A bit more explaination is what I suggest. The only thing I have problems with is the beginning of the third paragraph. " Sealand is compared to the butterfly in its final stage of evolution ". I understand you are comparing, but you're basically stating the obvious. Maybe i'm wrong, but you could use Sealand is related... or There is a relation between.. I don't know.

There is a direct relation between Sealand and the butterfly in its final stage of evolution. In this stage the butterfly breaks through its protective encasement and fulfills its destiny, thus making its long journey worthwhile. The people of Sealand have progressed after tribulation as a result of their acceptance of change. In the novel, the Sealand Lady states "The essential quality of life is living; the essential quality of living is change; change is evolution; and we are part of it." (196). This quotation supports the idea that change is inevitable and important for human existence. The people of Sealand worked together to build a new society after tribulation. This allowed their society to continue to evolve and devise new technologies such as weapons, automobiles and various aircrafts. Just like the butterfly, Sealand has reached the endpoint of its journey of development.

__//**CONCLUSION:**//__ The title of the novel refers to the relationship between the different civilizations and the life cycle of a butterfly ( ﻿reword to distinguish from thesis a little bit more). The stages of a butterfly are portrayed in this novel through the usage of three very different societies. These societies are The Fringes, Waknuk, and Sealand. The Fringes represent the caterpillar stage, Waknuk represents the chrysalis and Sealand represents the butterfly. The development in these societies is a direct relation to their opinion of change. (T ransition sentence would be good). Change is vital to human existence.( quite a jump, maybe some reasoning to connect the two sentences) With change comes a multitude of benefits that improve the quality of life. Should change be embraced or rejected in a society? The people of Waknuk were reluctant to accept change since they were comfortable with their present civilization and feared the unknown. In order for our society to flourish change must be accepted. In order for "our"? Possibly use "today's" Relationship to human life can possibly be expanded e.g. today's society would be corrupted like Waknuk -

6. Peer Comments - Group Members - Matthew Chun - Cameron So - Sean Li Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? - ﻿So far it's good. Try to fully express the true "beautiful" final form of the butterfly! It does clearly anticipate an insightful thesis. -Try for a good attention grabber, like an interesting fact about the whole process of a butterfly, other than how it's complicated. 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? -Shows how it relates to the developement of Waknuk. Argument really starts at the end though. -Wording can make the relationship seem strong between stages and societies

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? The quotes used are well structured in each paragraph. They include a brief or detailed explaination about the quote. The quotes used are from three different varities of chapters. However, for the second paragraph, I would suggest finding a quote or using a quote from a person of Waknuk that relates to change and evolution. This is because you have already found two quotes that from the Fringes and Sealand people. 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? The paragraphs are well structured in the body paragraph. I like how it is strucutred in the stages of the caterpillar's life. However, some parts of the essay are a bit confusing and requires more strong explaination. That is my personal opinion - You could correct me.. I may be wrong or misunderstood!

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. Yes, reworded thesis + summary of body paragraphs. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? Ending could leave more of a message, very clear however. 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? Argues relationship between societies and butterfly, therefore, fine development. Conclusion needs a steady base to hold the sentences together.

7. Good Copy in MLA format Cirone 1 Katrina Domenica Cirone Mr. Ahumada ENG 1D1 April 13th, 2011 The significance of the title The Chrysalids The butterfly is the result of a long and difficult journey of development in comparison to that of most other life forms undergoing transformation. The butterfly must go through a truly remarkable and timely process before arriving at its final form. To reach its full potential as a butterfly this insect must progress through four stages. These stages are the egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, and butterfly. Each stage is responsible for transforming a different aspect of the butterfly. Similarly in the novel //The Chrysalids//, the four civilizations have all progressed differently and are in distinct stages of development. They have all undergone various changes that have shaped their societies and categorized them into separate stages similar to those of a butterfly. These civilizations are Sealand, Waknuk and The Fringes. The title of the novel refers to the similarities between the different civilizations and the life cycle of a butterfly. The Fringes civilization is equivalent to the caterpillar stage in the life cycle of the butterfly. This is the stage that occurs after the caterpillar hatches. In this stage the caterpillar continuously eats until it is ready to create its own chrysalis. This stage always varies in length since it depends on the amount of food available to the caterpillar and its location. If the caterpillar has an insufficient amount of food or hatches in a bad location it will not be able to progress to the Cirone 2 next stage of its development until the problem is resolved. The people in the Fringes are very eager for change to occur yet they do not have the money, food, location or the necessary resources for this change to take place. Similar to the caterpillar, they will not be able to move on without these necessities. In the novel, one of the citizens of the Fringes states "God sent along tribulation to bust it up and remind 'em that life is change." (153). The quote suggests that the people of the Fringes think change should occur and that it is the will of God. Although this is not the true cause of tribulation, this view will help to keep them on track in order to achieve a successful society. Once the negative influence of Waknuk is gone, they will be able to move on from the caterpillar stage. The caterpillar stage prepares them for the transformations that will occur in the chrysalis stage. The Society of Waknuk represents the chrysalis stage. This vital stage is responsible for transforming the caterpillar into a butterfly, allowing it to reach its full potential. The caterpillar must go through this stage and experience the necessary changes to become a butterfly. These changes occur while the caterpillar is encased in the chrysalis. Like the caterpillar, the citizens of Waknuk are encased in their own form of a chrysalis. The difference is that the people of Waknuk have been in their chrysalis far too long. The title //The Chrysalids// is used to convey the idea of the importance of change in order for improvement and progress to occur in a society. The citizens of Waknuk have become comfortable in this stage and are trying to relive their past. This shows that they are scared of what change may bring to their society. They are resisting change and as a result their society has not undergone any development since its creation. This is proven when the Sealand Lady says "Evolution cannot be denied and the chrysalids cannot be  Cirone 3   stopped in its development to the next stage." This indicates that despite the continuous efforts of the people of Waknuk, they cannot prevent change from occurring in their society. The citizens of Waknuk have reached a dead end and their refusal to accept change and denial of evolution is hindering them from progressing to their final stage of development. If the citizens of Waknuk do not learn to accept change they will forever be trapped in the chrysalis stage. There is a direct relation between Sealand and the butterfly in its final stage of evolution. In this stage the butterfly breaks through its protective encasement and fulfills its destiny, thus making its journey worthwhile. The people of Sealand have progressed after tribulation as a result of their acceptance of change. In the novel, the Sealand Lady states "The essential quality of life is living; the essential quality of living is change; change is evolution; and we are part of it." (196). This quotation supports the idea that change is inevitable and important for human existence. The people of Sealand worked together to build a new society after tribulation. This allowed their society to continue to evolve and devise new technologies such as weapons, automobiles and various aircrafts. Just like the butterfly, Sealand has reached the endpoint of its journey of development. The title of the novel refers to the relationship between the different civilizations and the life cycle of a butterfly. The stages of a butterfly are portrayed in this novel through the usage of three very different societies. These societies are The Fringes, Waknuk, and Sealand. The Fringes represents the caterpillar, Waknuk represents the chrysalis and Sealand represents the butterfly. The development of these societies is a direct relation to their opinion of change. Change is vital to human existence. With change comes a multitude of benefits that improve the Cirone 4 quality of life. Should change be embraced or rejected in a society? In the novel we are shown three very different attitudes towards change. In The Fringes change was desired; however, it could not happen because of their economic status. The people of Waknuk were reluctant to accept change since they were comfortable with their present civilization and feared the unknown. In Sealand change is embraced and as a result an excellent society was created. John Wyndham may be trying to tell us that in order for a society to flourish change must be accepted. Which civilization can today’s society be compared to?