AlexChoi

= Alex Choi =

= Topic: Women are important to David Strorm. Discuss the effects of three women on his life. What does each woman do for David? =

= Brainstorming Worksheet: =

= Essay Outline:  =



= First Draft of my Essay: =

Introductory

Proper what do you mean by proper? socialization has always depended on the interactions between male and female incomplete thought, male and female what? . Both genders mature as a result of everyday communication with each other. In The Chrysalids, ﻿ grammatical error David relies on the women in his social and personal life to make him mature. Petra is identified as “too young to understand” and a “weakspot”; however, it becomes clear that her power is central to the group’s future survival, especially their emigration to Sealand. This inevitably made David more responsible caretaker who must protect Petra to ensure his species’ survival and keep his remaining family intact Is this Petra discussion necessary? . < doesn't seem suitable for intro paragraph. Maybe mention in one of the body paragraphs. Through his relationships with Aunt Harriet, Rosalind and Petra, David realizes that the unrestricted evolution of his species is necessary and not sinful. Each of these characters motivates ﻿ David by showing him different aspects of the old and new worlds which result in his decision to flee awkard wording also-the "decision to flee" part seems random in context, and makes the following part>feel random. In The Chrysalids, various female characters nurture and contribute to David Strorm’s development. see me after class please

Intro (edited):

﻿ Proper socialization has always depended on the interactions between males and females. Both genders mature as a result of everyday communication with each other. In __The Chrysalids__, David relies on the women in his personal life and those whom he encounters to make him more mature. Petra inevitably made David a more responsible caretaker who must protect her to ensure his species’ survival and keep his remaining family intact. Through his relationships with Aunt Harriet, Rosalind and Petra, David realizes that the unrestricted evolution of his species is necessary and not sinful. Each of these characters motivates David by showing him different aspects of the old and new worlds which result in his decision to escape. It is these women who helped David realize that his telepathic power is a gift and not a hindrance. In __The Chrysalids__, various female characters nurture and contribute to David Strorm’s development. 1st body paragraph:

Clearly, in Waknuk society, religion is more of a priority than family members, which is evident in the inhumane treatment to Aunt Harriet by David’s parents. Aunt Harriet shows David that it is okay to love a deviant and she was willing to die for her belief. Her suicide was ( kind of )(slightly odd wording?) defiance to Waknuk society’s cruel rules about the religion which doesn’t help an individual but rather punishes them. When Aunt Harriet told Emily, David’s mother, that the baby’s difference was nothing much, Emily responded, “Nothing much! … You have the effrontery to bring your monster into my house, and tell me it’s nothing much!” (is this quote and the quote from Joseph part of the same point? If not, try to find some way to relate it back to your first sentence in this paragraph)  Furthermore, Joseph later said “… any deviation from the true image is blasphemy – no less.” Joseph’s treatment to his sister-in-law again shows David that the options for a deviant are either death or escape. (your topic is about the important women in David's life. Perhaps you should write another concluding sentence to add to this one and relate it to your thesis. Your second sentence was good, so maybe try something like that)

﻿2nd body paragraph:

Rosalind and David’s symbiotic relationship reaffirms that love may be stronger than the need for purity. Their relationship begins as David sees Rosalind as the perfect partner, someone who rejects associating with norms, hoping for the day that they don’t have to hide and express their love freely, (proof if you can somehow incorporate it) because she provides meaning to his life throughout the novel. (reword your third point. It doesn't exactly fit in the sentence very well.) As David would say, “She was competent, decisive, self-reliant”; these qualities have attracted him to her. David also reflects on Rosalind and her family, regretting how unsupportive his own family will be about his “Deviation”, unlikely to ever ignore “the Purity Laws.” Rosalind is resourceful and her planning skills are needed in order for David and his group to survive and despite all her feminine side that is partially hidden, she kills a man on the way. (you might need to reword the latter parts of this sentence. It also seems like there are two different ideas in here, so either change it or remove "and" and replace it with something else.) She wants to stop the war if possible but Michael reassures her that it is necessary as this is a war between the two different species. list the pages of your quotes

3rd body paragraph:

Petra is a youthful symbol of hope for the group of telepathic deviants’ survival amidst the oppression that they face in their world. As the Sealand people were coming over, David and Rosalind were ordered to protect Petra from any harm. Ironically, she is the most powerful out of all the group members although (even though) she is identified as (  “ too young to understand” and a <span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">“ weakspot<span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">” and she doesn<span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">’ t know why the group is being hunted. )(reword this part a bit) Therefore, David instantly becomes Petra’s caregiver. Accordingly, David explains to Petra that they are <span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">“ different from them because they can’t make thought-shapes;” therefore, <span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">“ ordinary people are afraid of them.<span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">” Even amidst confusion and the chaos, the battle between the Fringes people and Joseph Strorm’s forces, David makes it a priority to urge Rosalind and Petra into the cave. Aboard the Sealand woman’s ship, David realizes that he, too, played an important role in ensuring Petra’s safety when any of the images in his mind, such as Anne, Aunt Harriet’s face, and Sally and Katherine’s suffering could <span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">“ have been a picture of Petra’s future.<span style="font-family: '맑은 고딕';">” Petra’s unique power necessitated David’s immediate and consistent attention to preserve her well-being.

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">Conclusion: Important female characters maximize David Strorm’s full potential and provide him with the necessary guidance and support in his growth. Without the frigid treatment that was inflicted upon Aunt Harriet by her sister and Joseph, as well as Petra’s need for safeguarding and Rosalind’s resourcefulness and love, David may never have been as well rounded as he is by the end of the novel. Often, people with a skill or aptitude can be elevated to new height just as David was. Beethoven also was considered a musical radical of his time. He needed the short-lived love of his mother to offset his father’s alcoholic abuse of him. His high esteem for love is evident in his music, but females such as his mother and his “immortal beloved” ultimately helped his progress. David can rest assured that his future is safe, especially when he has the support of loved ones like Rosalind who shows David that “the armour is gone, … like a flower opening.”

<span style="background-color: #c0c0c0; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 140%;">Group members - Malik, Polina , Sean

Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2.Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

=<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 125%;">Good Copy in MLA format: = =<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 125%;">2 is without quotation, 3 is with quotation =