Jasper

Essay work 4. Essay Outline 5. First Draft of your Essay 6. Peer Comments - Group Members TianboEdited version. Maddie Semaon 7. Good Copy in MLA format

Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph Tianbo 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? The Intro starts off firmly grabbing my attention. However, it losses my attention as it progresses because of the tense and grammar issues present in almost every line.The introduction anticipates a thesis, but not the thesis which you have written. You begin your essay with the phrase "No one is born perfect". To me, this kinda suggests that the people of Waknuk should be forgiven because they "weren't born perfect". 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? The argument could be set up a bit better. For one, if the thesis ended off the intro, the arguement would be much clearer. Though because the thesis is in the paragraph, I can understand what the argument is. Person 2 - Body Paragraphs Maddie 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph Semaon 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?