Stephen

Stephen Discuss the significance of the title **//The Chrysalids//** ** Brainstorming: **
 * 1.Your name**
 * 2. An Approved Topic**
 * 3. Brainstorming Worksheet**

Intro Bodies Conclusion
 * Description of “chrysalis” a stage of metamorphosis when an insect is in its cocoon.
 * Thesis (The people of Waknuk have cocooned themselves in a chrysalis of deceptive lies) Good thesis
 * 1) What are the lies and how do they affect the people
 * 2) how does the cocoon encase them
 * 3) Fringes=caterpillar, Waknuk=chrysalis, Sealand=butterfly and how does it relate to the title

Intro (edited by Parand) Many civilizations and communities have evolved due to certain aspects such as (such as), culture, religion (and) and knowledge. (change to a period instead of "...") The community of Waknuk are quite similar smooth out transition into this sentence. If i have not read the novel, how will i know what Waknuk is? ;( change comma to semi-colin ) they have envisioned a concept of a perfect human, abnormalities are to be considered a descrimination against God thus punishable by being shunned to the fringes. As a result they have not evolved and have cocooned themselves in a chrysalis of deceptive lies. (nice thesis) Good editing Parand structure needs developing. It's not bad, but you need to improve the transitions and the organization (jumping into the novel too soon) Many civilizations and communities have evolved due to certain aspects such as, culture, religion and knowledge. Each of them are basic necessities for a common society ﻿. (there shouldn't be a comma after "knowledge." Sounds like a run on sentence; look it over). Each aspect is important in the overall equilibrium... (you dont not put "..." in an essay) (i was doing it because i didnt know what to put there and i was still thinking) should one go out of balance (no "d"- balance), the entire structure will fall. The community of Waknuk are (is) very similar in the sense that they have all three aspects but they are all out of sync. They have envisioned a concept of a perfect human, abnormalities are to be considered a descrimination against God thus punishable by being shunned to the fringes. <--- (run on sentence, think about using more semi-colin's or periods) As a result they have not evolved and have cocooned themselves in a chrysalis of deceptive lies. Good start. You had nice transitions (starting in general and slowly leading into your thesis). Be aware of the punctuation; you had a few run on sentences. Some parts were not very clear, so try rewording some of it. Good Job!
 * 4. Essay Outline**
 * 5. First Draft of your Essay**

__**Intro**__ Many civilizations and communities have evolved due to certain aspects such as, culture, religion and knowledge. Each aspect is important in the overall equilibrium of the entire structure as well as the basic necessities for a common society. Should one go out of balance, the entire enitity will collapse. The community of Waknuk is very similar in the sense that they have all three aspects but they are all out of sync. They have envisioned a concept of a perfect human; abnormalities are to be considered a descrimination against God thus punishable by being shunned to the fringes. As a result they have not evolved and have cocooned themselves in a chrysalis of deceptive lies. __**1st**__ The community of Waknuk possess a book called Nicholson's Repentances. The book defines the true image of man, and the people believe it. The lie they had created was a tweaked interpretation of the definition by the people. This is the lie that has caused the most conflict in the book because it changes the way people view each other, in other words, discriminating against deviation. Sophie is a girl who has an extra toe, the community sees this as an insult to god and throws her into the fringes. This is simply because their interpretation of the book has made them fear the unknown, in this case, Sophie. They are afraid of her and will not tolerate her existence, so she is discarded in an attempt purify their community. "//KEEP PURE THE STOCK OF THE LORD//"(//pg 18)// __**2nd**__ The people of Waknuk are encased within their own deceptions. They have created a community so intent on purity that any natural defections are pushed away. A bubble comprised of their ideas and beliefs surround them blockading them from the truth. For instance, Joseph Strorm is a very religious person in the sense that he is strict to the rules and is very harsh with the devil's creations. Renowned for his meticulousness the people listen to him and are influenced by his actions and thoughts toward deviations. Another example is when Emily is disgusted at Aunt Harriet's proposal for a baby swap, even if she was her sister. The people of Waknuk are not only creating boundaries between the truth but also between themselves. It is as if there is a civil war and no one knows its wrong. Waknuk is burying themselves deeper into their cocoon in a useless attempt to rid the world of there so called blasphemies. **3rd** The metamorphic stages of a caterpillar are divided roughly into three main steps, the initial caterpillar, the cocoon/chrysalis, and then the butterfly. All these steps are represented in the book as communities separated by different qualities. To proceed to its chrysalis stage the caterpillar must first eat and grow, if the caterpillar does not receive sufficient amount of food then it cannot change. Much like the people of the fringes, they are stuck in their caterpillar stage because they do not have an abundant source of food needed to grow and improve. The people of Waknuk have settled in an area where farms can provide food and the community is well nourished. The people are intent on staying where they are refusing to change and adapt to the new world. In their conquest to remain unchanged they have defied a natural path of life. As a result they got wiped out by the Sealand people //"it is simply part of the great revolving wheel of natural economy."(pg 195)// The butterfly is the final stage in the tiresome metamorphosis of the caterpillar, the people of Sealand represent the butterfly because they have acknowleged state of earth and have adapted to cope with it. This allows them to overcome tribulation and progress to where they are. __**Conclusion**__ The people of Waknuk have deceived themselves, they have grasped the idea of a true human being without stepping back and thinking about what it really means. Slowly they indulge in their culture, slowly they block themselves from the truth. Around them, there are other communities, the fringes are desperate for survival. The people of Sealand are an advanced civilization. All different stages of an inevitable change. The direction of the universe and anything within it is propelled by change, without it, there would be nothing, no lies, no chrysalis, as for Waknuk, their chrysalis had spelled their demise. Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
 * 6. Peer Comments - Group Members**

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?

Parand-Intro Tom-Body Christina-Conclusion 7. Good Copy in MLA format