anika

anika 1.Your name 2. An Approved Topic 3. Brainstorming Worksheet 4. Essay Outline 5. First Draft of your Essay 6. Peer Comments - Group Members thalia, j ulian , & daeho thalia - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? julian- Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? daeho - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay? 7. Good Copy in MLA format

thesis : In the chrysalids the concept of deviation created the comparison between the norms and the mutant. new thesis : in the chrysalids the concept of deviation is symbolic refference to the racism. (thesis needs editing. Create a stronger thesis, one that can apply to life)

need to connect thesis to real life: maybe racism

-- Its kind of similiar to racism because - in the fringes they don't have good crops. - they dnt have good transportation (how does this relate to your thesis) - they are not treated equally as the norms -- they exhile - send away

Thesis : In the chrysalids the concept of deviation is symbolic refference to the racism. much improved thesis, but try this: In //The Chrysalids,// the concept of deviations is a symbolic reference to societal racism.

Introduction : In the chrysalids the concept of deviation is symbolic refferencm e to the racism. The deviants are getting being instead of getting treated like animals just because they are a bit

introduction: the deviants dont get treated equally as the norms because they are perceived as inferior and not created in god's image.in the chrysalids the concept of deviation is sumbolic reference to societal racism. Goo d ! Add a capitol to this sentence though and symbolic is spelt wrong.

Body paragraph #1: The deviants are treated like animals, they don’t get to enjoy the same facilities or comforts as the norms, for example they had to live in the Fringes, not having proper shelters and coverage from rain, snow and wind.(run on) They don’t have good crops in the Fringes and their nutrition is not healthy, sometimes they are so hungry that they plunder the Waknuk. Proper clothes are not available for them and often they catch cold. They also didn’t have proper sanitary system.

get rid of the bit different from the norms of waknuk they areforced and exhiled away to the fringes.

ok good introduction but i think your thesis is supposed to be the last sentence. Also maybe make it a bit longer